Ava Arledge
Advanced Topics: American Language and Literature
DESCRIPTIVE NARRATIVE
The descriptive narrative essay was the first writing piece of the year, offering me the opportunity to not only display my literary talents to Ms. Gruber and Mrs. Holston but also introduce myself through a unique and distinctive challenge I have experienced. We were prompted to explore various topics that showcased unique life experiences, and I chose to focus on a challenge that demanded a tough decision. This assignment aimed to capture an event through detailed reflections and thoughts. At first, I wanted to write about a trip to Arizona with my family, but I realized it lacked the profound impact I sought to explore. I wanted to learn more about myself and reflect on my actions through my writing. After much consideration, I had thought to write about my freshman year, when I was enrolled to attend my dream high school, but I got nervous and had to rethink my decision. Prior to writing this essay, I had scarcely spoken of my decision to stay at Cannon School, despite an enticing opportunity to transfer to the Taft School; I feared that I regretted my decision, and I did not want to face that regret.
Through the process of writing, I confronted my past, understood my decisions, and was able to appreciate my self-growth that stemmed from this pivotal moment in my life. In this essay, I am very proud of my ability to reflect on my emotions, illustrating rather than just stating my feelings. My narrative succeeded in vividly conveying my thoughts. Rather than just saying "I did not like Cannon", I was able to elaborate on what I felt stepping onto campus that made me dread going. In contrast, a weakness of my essay was my ability to explain what made my decision between Cannon and Taft so challenging. I put a lot of emphasis on how difficult the decision was, but lacked a detailed comparison of the pros and cons associated with each option and the factors that complicated this decision-making process.
Initially, I misunderstood the purpose of the descriptive narrative essay. I mistook it for an extensive essay that would cover a series of events. My first attempt extended across six pages, beginning with my time at Cannon, touring Taft, applying to Taft, the acceptance, observing others' reactions, and then making the decision. Just before it was due, I realized it was supposed to focus on one specific event rather than a series of events. Hastily, I narrowed my focus to a specific incident, but this left my essay cluttered with extra and unnecessary details. Notably, a substantial segment about a text message from my brother consumed a significant portion of my essay without contributing to the core reflection, demonstrating a misalignment with the essay's intended focus. Although my first draft was not terrible, it was very broad and did not reflect on my decision-making process very much.
In my second draft, I managed to narrow my focus to a specific moment, allowing for deeper reflection on the decision at hand. However, my approach to these revisions remained inadequate, as I was very close minded to considering the feedback Ms. Gruber had provided. I believed that by rearranging a few words and correcting grammatical errors, I could improve my essay. This strategy, though, did not address the need for a more profound exploration and meaningful enhancement of the content.
In my third and final draft, I came to understand that revising entailed far more than just quick fixes. I realized that genuine revision required a dedicated effort to enrich the narrative with significant and impactful thoughts and details. This realization prompted a more thoughtful approach to refining my work, emphasizing the importance of depth in the revision process. In my third draft, it is evident that the focus in the end was fully shifted onto the decision I was facing, elaborating on why my view of Cannon had shifted after my acceptance to Taft and exactly how I was feeling.
Strengths
I am extremely proud of my descriptive narrative and my ability to reflect deeply on a challenging time that I had once tried to bury in the past. I avoided revisiting this part of my life, fearing that reflection might lead to regret. Yet, through writing this essay, I grew significantly as a person, overcoming my hesitation to confront these difficult memories. The essay effectively captures my emotional journey, detailing my initial loneliness, the surge of excitement about new opportunities, and the powerful realization of the value in my existing relationships. This personal approach makes my essay highly moving and engaging and creates a compelling storyline.
Weaknesses
This was the first essay of the year, so it was not perfect. One weakness that stands out to me is that my internal conflicts dominate much of the narrative. While my internal emotions are crucial to the purpose of the essay, this domination potentially occurs at the expense of developing other aspects of the story, such as more detailed descriptions of what made Cannon a place worth staying. Consequently, readers may remain curious about the specific reasons behind my decision to stay at Cannon.